Reminders.

Sometimes I sit back and shake my head at how faultless the Lord is in His timing of simple reminders. Reminders to keep marching forward. Reminders to continue to seek wisdom and discernment. Reminders to keep believing that no matter what you feel, He truly does have what is best for both you and I in mind.
As I was sitting in a chair in the midst of a group of people I did not know this past Sunday, a rush of nerves followed by a supernatural peace came over me. I stood up, walked to the front of the room and looked into the eyes of a group of people who all have their own unique story to tell, yet have one thing in common with me--We all have the same Father. My hands shook, not out of fear but out of an overwhelming excitement to have this opportunity to share. I truly did not know what words would come out. You see, when I get the opportunity to share my story, what this past year has looked like for me but most importantly get to tell the story of our precious children in Uganda to one more person, my soul leaps. One more person who hears where Sozo began, what this two and a half year journey has looked like and our hopes and dreams for what is to come in the near future, is one more person who gets to see God's grace, mercy and ultimately His beautiful picture of redemption for 68 plus precious lives in Uganda.



"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are glad." Psalm 126:3

As important as it is to share all that the Lord is doing within Sozo, and He always seems to be at work in both the small things and the not so small things, I can honestly say that I think the opportunity to go to speak in this class was more for me than anyone else. Why you ask? After briefly speaking, the typical Sunday morning routine carried on for them.

Topic of study: Jonah.

Jonah in a nut shell is a picture of how fear and pride can result in running from God's direction and calling on our lives. But a "belly of a whale" experience of repentance could lead you directly into the arms of a merciful God resulting in a time of growth with the Lord.

The lesson opened up with the following words:

"I am Jonah.
I want to serve God...
as long as it is convenient.
I desire to do His will...
Until it is a tad uncomfortable.
I want to hear His Word...
as long as its message is one I'm supposed to pass on to someone else.
I don't want to have my plans interrupted.
Oh yes. I am Jonah, and I suspect that in
one way or another, you are too."
(From: Master Work with credit to Priscilla Shirer)

....Think about it...

Oh how uncomfortably familiar those words felt as they echoed through my ears that morning. That is ME. I am Jonah way more often than I am proud to say. And in particular here recently.

"And he said: I called out to the Lord because of my trouble, and He answered me. I cried for help from the place of the dead, and You heard my voice." Jonah 2:2

As the end of the year closes and the new year brings a fresh start, it would be easy to cap my beautiful journey in this mission field off and move into finding a job with office hours, a stable income and benefits. But the Lord is keeping me right here, in the uncomfortable, for a very specific and particular reason. Is what I am doing a dream opportunity? You better believe it. But is it easy? Absolutely not. It's not easy because I do not have control from day to day. It is in my human nature to control every aspect of my life. When things get hard, ideally, I would love to shift to an easier path. Yet everyday when I wake up, I am in a position that forces me to say "Lord, strengthen my faith in You. For I know that You are in ALL things and I trust that You have and will always guide me in any and all situations, both great and small."
Making sense of what God has asked cannot be the prerequisite for choosing obedience.

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8

I present myself vulnerable today and admit more times than not, I have wanted to gracefully bow out. Problems arise within, and His grace trumps over them. I am learning to love, and truly love on days when that is not the first thing on my mind. I am grateful for the wisdom that has been poured into me. That I now am able view the rocky days, the tough times, and the not-so-pleasant people as sandpaper in my life. When you look the word "sandpaper" up in the dictionary, you find this: "Strong paper coated with a layer of sand or other abrasive, used for smoothing or polishing". This idea of sandpaper is ultimately to view these moments as the Lord refining me and teaching me about an area in my own life...or as the Lord smoothing and polishing me. He is a good God. He allows the rough days in order for me to be smoother on the other side. This is humbling.

"The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on to the heights" Habakkuk 3:19

I cling tight to the Lord. Trusting that this season is equipping me for the greatest of days which are ahead of me. I am thankful that as I make mistakes, I am also able to learn from them. And as I grow through life lessons that sometimes feel like a broken record, I am better for them. As I learn, I grow, and the next time I face a problem, I will never look at it the same because I have learned something essential from the last time I looked it in the face. This is what life is about. Learning to be still some moments and learning to take chances other times. But never ceasing to reflect on what the Lord is teaching and discerning what He wants from me each day.

It truly is about learning to daily be obedient to ALL the Lord is asking from me.
And I admit, I am still in the process of truly grasping what this truth is all about.

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18

A little holiday spirit...

Can you believe Christmas is just THIRTY-SIX short days away?! For that matter, Thanksgiving is THIS WEEK!! How fast the days of 2012 are passing by has simply amazed me. Such a beautiful ride this past year has been, and it is so evident how present He has been throughout it all as I reflect over blogs, journals, prayers and memories of the last eleven months and beyond.

 

Some may have heard, others may not have any idea....

But as the Lord has opened the door for me to return to Uganda in the Spring of 2013, I am selling Africa ornaments to help raise financial support that will go towards funding that trip.

 

I have set a goal to make and sell ONE HUNDRED ornaments over the next FIVE weeks leading up to Christmas.

In hopes to bring a little Africa to everyones home this holiday season, there are many unique things that involve Africa that makes up each ornament.

 

 

• First, they are filled with coffee beans(which smell fabulous I might add). About 2.8 MILLION people in Uganda rely on the coffee industry for their income. Coffee makes up 95% of Ugandan exports and is a native to the country. With this being one of Uganda's largest cash crop, you can see why it is viewed as very important to many Ugandans.

 

• Each ornament also has a cut out of Africa on the front of it to be a daily reminder to pray for the country, the people living in Africa, missionaries serving there and of course our sweet children and staff at Sozo Children. (www.sozochildren.org)

 

• Lastly, the ornaments have a small strand of paper beads that is personally my favorite part of the ornament. Paper bead making is a common trade that women in Uganda take part in. Strips of paper are rolled up tightly to form a bead and then dipped in a clear varnish to give it a sheen, durable look. Although this is a time consuming process, this trade is helping women support their families by providing an income that allows them to provide shelter, feed their families and in some cases, send their children to school to recieve an education. Each bead is unique and rarely do you find two beads that are exactly the same.

 

Pictured below are examples of the ornaments that you may pick from. Below each picture is a caption that contains the name of the ornament, which will make it easier to communicate which one you have picked.

Each ornament will sale for TWENTY($20) dollars a piece.

Payment may be made by CASH, CHECK or CREDIT CARD. Please just simply contact me by phone or by emailing me at kellyanne@sozochildren.org  These ornaments can be shipped upon purchase.

RED with WHITE POLKA DOTS

WHITE with COLORFUL POLKA DOTS

 

LIME GREEN, PINK and GRAY

 

LIME GREEN with SMALL POLKA DOTS

 

ORANGE/PINK

 

GRAY with DESIGN

 

FADED BLUE with LIME DESIGN

 

LIME with MULTI-SIZED POLKA DOTS

 

FADED BLUE

 

RED with BABY BLUE POLKA DOTS

 

PINK with ORANGE and WHITE PRINT

 

RED

 

CREAM

 

 

DARK BLUE with DESIGN

 

ORANGE with POLKA DOTS
 

Thank you so much for your continuous support. My gratitude for each of you extends further than you know. The love, support and prayers by each of you are constantly felt and extremely welcomed. I truly count my blessings each day as the Lord daily allows me to walk along this beautiful journey.

Little Moments..

It felt like home as soon as I arrived. It wasn't supposed to though. It was supposed to be a "quick two-week trip to visit the children" and it turned into a two-week journey that has forever marked my life. I celebrated with Daudi as I turned the corner getting off of the plane and gave him a big hug followed by the words "Welcome Home!" For the two months that he was here in the States and daily told me how much he missed home, the kids, the bumpy roads, the slower pace...I thought to myself "is it really that great?!" And before I even hugged the kneck of Aggie, was greeted by joyful shrieks when we pulled into the gate, or even got my visa to enter the country; I realized the answer to that question I had been wanting to ask Daudi was quickly answered with a resounding YES!!

You see, Uganda exceeded every expectaton I had built up in my mind.

I have been with Sozo for over 10 months now. I have watched over a hundred people leave America, come to Uganda, and return back to the States. Some people forever changed, some just another trip. I have seen interns devote an entire summer to serving in Uganda. Some forever changed, some just another summer to them. But for some reason in my mind, I thought I knew exactly how it was going to be. Thought is the correct word here, because everything I thought it would be like was blown out of the water by the end of the first full day.

 

Uganda is simplicity at its finest. and I love that. I long to grasp that mindset. It's how things are supposed to be--simple. We make things difficult and the Lord patiently awaits for us to realize it doesn't have to be.

The processing continues. I remember laying in the bed on one of my last nights in Uganda and telling Laura and Michelle the one thing that I was dreading about going home was being asked what I thought about my time in Uganda or what my favorite part was. My heart is on the verge of explosion to tell the world what these days and nights in Uganda meant to me. but I just dont know how to put it into words. I dont know how to articulate just how special this place is to me or how wonderful these people are. I can't do them justice and so then I hesitate even trying to in fear that you won't understand. But then again, you wouldnt understand until you go. Until you see it for yourself. Until you lavish in the beauty of Uganda. Until you take a deep breath of African air. For me, I thought I knew-but I didn't. I had no idea.

 

 

So what was my favorite moment? It would be impossible to narrow it down to just a single one. That would be doing my time there injustice. It was the little moments. The ones I never dreamed could be so good. so perfect.

 

 

Like meeting Brian for the first time. I've been priviliged with the opportunity to sponsor Brian for the last 6 months. I've seen his beautiful smile, recieved report cards from school, and have heard his story. But it wasn't until I gave him that first hug and kissed the top of his sweet head that I realized just how much I loved him. And the love continued to grow as I spent more time with him. As I watched him goof off with his friends. As I played badmitton with him. As he told me how much he wanted a remote control car for Christmas because he has never had one. As I told him each day to listen in school and learn something new that day. It continues to grow even though we are yet again seperated.

 

Little moments like doing homework in the afternoon with Vivian. She lays down that notebook and we begin with English. We keep a "rubber"(eraser) close by because she's still learning. She still is trying to figure out what a complete sentence looks like. She is still learning what modes of transporation are available. Or how to draw a priest baptising a baby. So we try, and then we "rub" and we try again until we get it just right. And then she flips the page. Luganda time. So then the tables tearn and I begin to learn. We both learn. I'm desperate to learn a new word everyday. They work so hard to improve their english. I must work hard to improve my luganda. My patience grows. It wasn't my "hurry up-get it right-I have no time" self those afternoons. It was where I thrived. Where I loved teaching. What does this mean God? What desires and gifts are you birthing in me? Allow me to be obedient every step of the way.

Little moments like going in to the girls room at night and seeing Sharon's feet dangle off the bed sideways and her whispering something. So as I go closer I see her bible flipped open. She's reading as much as she can before the lights go off. The bible has different colors highlighted throughout all of the pages. The pages are ragged. The front is torn. This is what a bible that is used everyday, multiple times a day looks like. They get it. She gets it. She is fully depending on her Father to get her through that day. And then I walk down to my room and their sits my bible on my bed. It looks like I just bought it yesterday. Where is that utter dependence for the Word in my life? She's mirroring Christ right before my eyes. Teach me Father.

Little moments capture your heart. Sometimes they happen and we soon forget, but sometimes they're not as easily forgotten.

 

 

The moment I saw Henry for the first time is one of those moments. Henry is Phiona's little brother, so for those of you who keep up with me and know my love for this little girl, you can only imagine how absolutely perfect the moment was when I bent down to swoop that little munchkin up as we walked through the gates of Rays of Hope. I knew exactly who he was in the midst of 300 kids running around the moment  I laid my eyes on him. Phiona and I had looked at pictures of him more times than I can count. And now, there he was. Right in front of me.

He had a navy blue fleece jacket on with colorful cars all over it. He was holding his cup and was ready to eat porridge. But first, like a proud mom or something, I whipped out a picture of me and Phiona that was in my bag. He lit up. A smile reckoned his face like a little kid on Christmas morning. It was special. It won't be easily forgotten. He clung tight to that picture. He held it close, then he held it where he could see it and would laugh and then draw it back close again. He looked at it each day that he saw me. He had no idea what kind of connection I had with Phiona, he just knew for a moment that he was able to see his big sister that he misses so much. The one who walked to school with him everyday. The one who defended for him. The one who took care of him more times than we care to know. I now have a very well worn picture that has become a constant reminder of what love looks like when I lay my eyes on it.

I can sit here, look back on my time in Uganda and think of hundreds of little moments that make my heart beat. Belly-laughing ones, gut-wrenching ones, sad ones and ones that can immediately bring a smile from ear to ear. You will continue to hear more of these over the following weeks in hopes to let you in on this journey that has taken a new turn.

When the Lord led me down this journey with Sozo, He made it very clear for me not to cap it with a time frame. This made me very uncomfortable because it would be very easy to have said I am doing this until December and commit 7 months of my life to it and then be done. But then I would be walking away from what I love-from what He has bestowed His blessings upon. But that wasn't His plan and that wasn't His calling. He simply asked that I daily be obedient to this next step in the journey. Only He is all-knowing and knows exactly what my future looks like. It was starting to become a life-style to me. Get up, go to the Sozo office, go home, go to bed and repeat it again the next day. It's all I knew. I knew names of 68 children, 10 names of our Ugandan staff and could tell you the name of where our children go to school. But now, I know the faces of 68 children. I know personalities and laughter and can tell you a story about each and how in some way, shape or form they have impacted my life.

 

 

 

 

I have been to the school to both drop-off and pick-up. I have entered the gates where they are blessed to daily better their education. And I have spent time with the most amazing staff known to man. I have watched them interact with our children, I have watched them daily do what the Lord has uniquely gifted them to do and I have seen love and joy radiate off them in such a way that the only way to describe it is they are walking in direct obedience to the Father.

 

 

 So today, I try to pick back up to the way things "normally" are for me. I will go back to the office for the first time since I have gotten back and I am earnestly praying that the Lord carry me through today because my heart is in Uganda. I fell in love with everything that makes up that wonderful place. But I trust in the Lord's timing. Today He has me here, tomorrow has yet to unfold. I know that I will return again. Not just once, but many more times.

HOUSE 1

HOUSE 2



HOUSE 3



 

To Love and Be Loved.

It has been a while since I last blogged. First of all, I feel like life has not  slowed down long enough for me to be able to sit and blog. I am in the heat of fundraiser events, travelling, and just the every day duties that come with Sozo. People always manage to ask if I remember to breathe each day, and surprisingly enough, I do! Between Sozo and wedding season for friends, I have a little over 3 weeks until I hop on a plane and head to a beautiful country where 69 precious children await, Uganda! Trust me, I cannot wait to meet this growing boy who my family and I get to sponsor monthly for the first time!

Although my excitement is growing by the day, I have a to do list that grows by the minute to take care of before then! Including the Adventure Run 5k that everyone reading this blog needs to be at the coming up weekend (Sunday, September 23rd at 3:30 pm at Hargis)

                                                          SIGN UP TODAY

Just this past week, I was able to sit down and quickly journal a little bit about what has been turning about in my mind in the daily life with Phiona. I just wanted to give you all a small glance of how much this precious child has been teaching me as I am daily realizing she was brought here for more than just physical healing. In fact, I am starting to think the Lord crossed our paths to show me the Father's love for His children and what it looks like to love someone unconditionally. In this journal entry I hope you see how my flesh is still fighting but how His grace and mercy is unfailingly conquering.


September 7, 2012
So many things are running through my mind today. Most of these things consist of Phiona. With conflicting schedules, I have not seen her once this week, so when given the opportunity to be able to go pick her up from school today, I was more than thrilled! I never knew how much I would love this child and how attached I would get to her when she came into my life almost four months ago. She, herself, has changed so much in every aspect of her life. Her physical appearance, her attitude, her personality and her ability to love and be loved. So much has played into this but as I sat down with her Sunday night a took a litle trip down memory lane at all the things we've done since she's been here, looked at all the pictures and videos we've taken over the last 4 months and honestly just slowed down enough to take a moment to see how far she has come and how far she still has to go. Has she had her set backs? you better believe it. But I end up loving her more through them. Have I been fed up, thrown my hands in the air and been a fingertip away from throwing the towel in during a Tuesday afternoon homework session that consisted of coloring and labeling a U.S. map or doing long division? Absolutely. But the Lord has shown me so much grace in it all. He has let me see His sufficiency is enough. And in the midst of an eyerolling temper tantrum, there is still a peace. A peace, because He is in the middle of it all. He simply whispers "Kelly Anne, love her through it." and this reminds me of all the times He has loved me through my mess. There is nothing that brings me more joy than seeing those long Ugandan legs run aroung the street outside, taking a moment to let her teach me how to cook something new, wear a helmet on that sweet, growing my the second, full of hair head and ride a bike in the afternoons or hearing six simple words, "Auntie Kelly Anne, I love you."
And then for a second, I get selfish. I think about what is going to happen when a loving family comes along and I don't get to spend afternoons with her, and I don't get to experience her first Christmas or Thanksgiving with her, and I don't get to celebrate another pound gained and I don't get to offer her a hug, say a quick prayer with her and comfort her when she is upset. And then I get sad. and yes, that is my flesh. My selfish desires to get to walk on this journey with this most incredible little girl who has taught me so much in such a short time.
Tears fall when I think about it, but I cannot allow it to consume me because I know my sweet Father has Phiona's best interest at heart. I know that He is going to walk beside me every step of the way and I know that I will have been stretched during this process.
So I take advantage of the time that I do have with her now. I don't have a timetable for what the next step looks like or when it will come. but, I do know that wherever the Lord places Kampi Phiona next, He is sovereign in His plan for her life and for mine and I am thankful for the now. This way of life as I know it may last another 4 months or it could be just 4 more weeks, but I trust and I pray that the Lord would see me through each day.
It is only by His sweet mercies and grace that I have been allowed so much time with little Phi and for every second, every minute and every day I have been blessed by her little life, I praise my sweet Father for. I know that He has gone before us, and has a path marked out for us to follow. I trust Him in it all. He has gotten us to this place we are at now, and I hold to His promise that says that "He who began a good work will carry it out to the day of completion."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 When you try to figure out the future, you are grasping at things that are Mine. This, like all forms of worry, is rebellion: doubting My promise to care for you. Relax and enjoy My presence, trusting Me to open up the way before you as you go.  (Reference is Psalm 32:8)

"...I fear no evil, for You are with me."

My normal daily routine has been shifted around in this past week. It involves a lot more rice and beans. It has morning cartoons playing in the background. It involves the newest food of liking "ambuggas"(hamburgers). And my favorite part, Jesus Calling for Kids before we go to bed each night. You see, my newest routine has entered my life because we have a precious Ugandan staying with us while Auntie Suzanne is visiting Sozo in Uganda. Phiona came into the picture many, many months ago as we began praying for both her and Shamira to be granted medical visas so that they could come to the States to began medical treatment here locally. But it wasn't until 4 weeks ago that I first met Phiona as she walked through the gates at the airport here in Birmingham. I was extremely excited to get to know her, spend time with her and be able to witness first hand a medical miracle take place right in front of my eyes. Except I never knew how quickly I could fall in love with this little girl, and just how much my faith would have to increase during this medical treatment process. I am more than willing to offer the little faith I have over to God so that He can increase it ten fold. I desire to have so much faith that anything we face in the coming months will not shake me or throw me off course. That I can immediately turn anything over to God and with full confidence say "Lord, I trust you and I know that you will see us all through this." As we are getting closer to the first big appointment for miss priss over here, the Lord has been reminding me of this promise, "He who began a good work will carry it out until the day of completion."
One thing that has pretty consistently come up since Phiona has arrived here in America has been fear. Fear of both small, everyday things and fear of things that any 11 year old would fear. We have been working through these things, praying that fear would not control her and reading about what the Word says about fear. It is no coinsidence that it has come up multiple times while reading Jesus Calling. Phiona reads it outloud to me and she pauses to sound out the words she does not yet know how to say. She will look over at me at the end of a sentence if she doesn't really understand what she just read and I will then try to explain it in a way that she understands. The sound of her voice reading could put anyone at ease. In the midst of the fear she struggles with, there is a peace that echoes off her voice. Here is an excerrpt of what she so sweetly read to me last night:
"I go before you as well as with you into this day. Nothing surprises Me. I know exactly what will happen--both the good and the bad. Trust in Me and do not be afraid. Stay close to Me, and I will not let you be overwhelmed by anything that happens today. Don't go through today with fear in your heart because of what might or might not happen. I will help you deal with whatever happens--moment by moment. Facing your problems with Me brings blessings that are much bigger than your troubles."
I can not begin to tell you how much my world is changing by just having her in my life. As we were swimming in the lake today with her life jacket on and floating on her noodle(or "horse" as she calls it), I realized just how much she depended on me not to let her go. Although she has everything on that will keep her floating without holding on to me, She kept a tight grip on either my hands, neck or arm at all times for the first half of the day. There is no telling how many times I told her I would not let anything harm her, that she would not drown or that I would not let go. But instead of relaxing and trusting completely in my words, she had to put forth every effort to make sure she had a tight grip. It was in the middle of the lake that the Lord downloaded such a sweet revelation. You see, the same goes for us in our relationship with Him. He promises to not let anything harm us and He tells us He will not leave us or forsake us. But instead of trusting Him completely in that, we fight and fight to just keep our head afloat which in turn leaves us tired and weary. Do I trust Him enough to completely believe He is true to His promises? Sweet Jesus, show me areas in my life that I have not turned over to You.
Thanks to Auntie Amiee's brilliant idea :) tonight we spent time making a calender for her to write important dates on. She wanted to write when all of her aunties and uncles were coming back to America(she loves and misses every single one of you). She absolutely loved this and hopefully this will help her have an idea of what to look forward to. I am so thankful for times like these. She is letting her guard down more and more. Seeing that I want what is best for her even if she doesn't get what she wants when she wants it.
I pray that I take advantage of the time I am getting to spend with this sweet girl. That I do not take for granted the times that she challenges me and the times that we both bust into laughter. It is in the times that she won't look me in the eyes because she is upset that I have told her no and the times that she looks at me like she is clinging to every word that I am saying that the Lord is constantly teaching me that He has prepared me and continuing to equip me for such a time as this.
What a fun ride He has me on... Thank you Father for this opportunity. For this life. For these many blessings.