Growing Pains.

So many memories, questions, thoughts, ideas and precious faces have raced through my mind the last couple of weeks. Honestly, too many to number. I've realized I'm at one of those crossroads we come across at times in our lives. It's uncomfortable. One where my heart and everything I grew to love in a new way remains thousands of miles away in the midst of red dirt that covers the ground of Uganda, but I find myself here trying to justify the comforts and pleasures that come with living life in America.  I've wrestled with The Lord over what I want and ultimately what He wants. I want answers. I have a "hurry up" mentality. I see what is right before me. But He has a beautiful plan. His timing is precise. And He sees the bigger picture. 

I've tried to soak in the time I have so sweetly been blessed to spend with The Reeves' family this past week in Colorado as I am surrounded by His indescribably breathtaking design. Truly to be still, take in every ounce of beauty that the eye could possibly withhold as I am convinced that there are not bright, twinkling stars that seem so close you can simply reach up and grab one anywhere else in this world or turn a single corner without being overtaken by the vast mountains covered in pure, white snow. I look out of the window and am reminded that His blood washed my sins away and I have been made as white as the snow that has fallen gently on the sides of these mountains. 

This morning I saw a new mountain off in the distance that I haven't seen yet this week due to snow coming down rapidly or clouds that have covered them, and I pause and let out a gasp. I am taken back that The Lord carefully formed each mountain just as He carefully designed my life and set desires and dreams within me that would ultimately bring Him glory along the way. I pause and I rest. It's a good thing. The Lord is in the midst of this silence. He's teaching me. Am I willing and ready to learn? 

As we travelled up the mountain to reach our destination earlier this week, we were told we would be staying at a very high altitude all week. Along with headaches, restlessness and the feeling of not being hungry that came over a few in our group, Sham faced another challenge that no one else would physically face. While she is in the recovery process with two surgeries under her belt and many more to go, she has 6 expanders that cover her torso. These are filled over time which in turn expand to grow skin that will ultimately be grafted on the parts of her body that were burned. Due to the altitude, the expanders were expanding and stretching her skin at a more rapid pace than she had previously endured. This left her feeling a bit of pain earlier in the week as her body took time to adjust to it. The Lord would reveal to me over the course of the week that I could relate to this process in my own life. Not physically, but emotionally and spiritually. My heart, my spirit, my hunger for His word and my desire to cling tighter to The Lord than ever before has expanded in great ways since I left for Uganda at the beginning of February and even upon returning back to the States. I have been stretched. It has been painful at times. But the same way that the end result for Shamira will be a healed body that is made perfectly whole to the physical eye, the end result of the stretching occurring within my spirit will be worth it all the same. There is beauty that comes when The Lord places us on the Potter's wheel and molds us into His ever so perfect design. Sometimes it takes stepping back from the everyday mundane routines that we find ourselves in that we are honestly able to catch a glimpse of this process that leaves us extremely reliant on the Maker of Heaven and Earth.

With the free time I have had this past week, I've been able to read and really enjoy a few books. One of them encouraged me to stop and think about all that God dreamed of for my life when He created and formed me in His hands. At first this question that was posed was challenging to me. And then I realized I have in fact found what The Lord knitted me to do, and I couldn't be more thankful that He has opened the door for me to carry out this calling. I am beginning to catch small glimpses of the joy that comes when you let go, lay down your life, and live from a bigger heart. I've found my passion and couldn't begin to dream of what life would look like doing anything else. 

 "Everyone has oceans to fly, as long as they have the heart to do it. Is it reckless? Maybe, but what do dreams know of boundaries?" 

--Amelia Earhart

I am thankful for the words Auntie Christine spoke over my tender soul the night I left Uganda as she gave me one last hug and whispered into my ear "may the Lord widen your territory. Be blessed my dear friend" I can remember walking away with fresh, warm tears rolling down my already tear-stained cheeks thinking "Widen your territory? What does this even mean?" It didn't truly settle until I closed my eyes after sinking into my seat on the airplane on the tarmac in Entebbe. As I was praying that The Lord would ease the pain that comes when saying those tough goodbyes and leaving a country filled with so many I had not grown to, but instantly, fell in love with I remember praying that through my journey--His journey--my territory would expand and widen in order for Him to  be glorified all the more. I continue to daily pray that His will be done in my life and through my life.

"Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my territory, and that your hand might be with me, and that you would keep me from harm..." 1 Chronicles 4:10

I pray every nook of this life that I am living continues to expand. May He grant me grace and mercy when the days get tough. When the pain surfaces. For I know that just as God sculpts the most beautiful pearls under the greatest pressure, He too assures that the end result of my life will sure to be as flawless as a pearl as long as I firmly hold tight to His calling He has placed on my life and withstand during the time of expansion and growth.

Lord, have your way. May I walk in fearless obedience, display raw faith and continue to live out the Gospel all the days of my life trusting that You are all that You have said You are.

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." John 12:24

As I read earlier this week, death to ourselves, our agendas, our expectations and our hopes is necessary to find the deep joy that comes when we fully relinquish ourselves to the gospel.(Mary DeMuth)

Holy Ground.

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” ---Martin Luther King Jr.

 

As I am writing this, our youngest four are enjoying a nice, big lunch consisting of a bowl full of matoke and g-nut sauce. I downed my plate and am now enjoying their softly spoken lugandan conversations while they eat. I am simply attempting to soak in every moment that remains today. It’s quiet around here. Some have gone into town for the day. Mato and Alex are back and forth between here and market. The rest of the children are at school. I am thankful for the stillness, the quietness that fills the air today, that has allowed me to take time to process and reflect on this last month. A month that has been full of plenty of laughter, an uncontainable amount of joy, new journeys to embark on, moments where all I could do was cling to faith in my sweet Jesus and stillness. All I could dream about and more than I could begin to ask for. Yesterday was spent at one of the secondary schools some of our older children attend. We did our fair share of sweating as we ran around playing basketball while the boys played soccer. It does ones soul good to be able to sit atop the hill and look down at our boys interacting with new friends, all the while doing what they love to do. I began to think about their individual lives before Sozo. I have yet to learn all of their stories, but what I do know is that I simply could not imagine what life would look like if one of them was not on this beautiful journey with us. Each child is unique. They have their own individual and distinct story to tell. The Lord has a mighty plan in store for each one of them too. Each story consists of pain, sorrow and neglect in some way but together it makes up a beautiful picture that spills over with love, grace, mercy, truth and redemption. For we all once were orphans but now we are all the more blessed to sit at the table of our King.

 

The Lord has lavished His love upon me unconditionally over the course of this past month. He has loved me well as He always does. He has provided moments when I simply had to posture myself humbly on my knees before His throne of grace and beg for His mercy to fall over His children. I have learned to pray with urgency and faith completely believing that the things of this world shall soon pass. I have seen the importance of scripture. Realizing that these very words are truly God-breathed. I cling to His promises and speak these same promises over the lives of ones we so dearly love. He has granted us power and authority to stand in the gap and battle for ones we love in the heavenly realms.

 

 

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff, they comfort me.” Psalms 23:4

The Word of God has come alive to me while in Uganda. I can truly say that I will not be returning the same person that I left as. My faith has been stretched, areas in my life have been refined and there are still things going on here that my spirit is not settled on just yet. But I leave today. I don’t have all of the answers to all problems. I simply cannot fix the things that I want to fix here before I leave. The Lord is in control.

 

--Marginalized people continuously show up in the stories of Jesus—prostitutes, tax collectors, soldiers, criminals, poor people, sick people, old people, and children. It would be easy to see the mission of Jesus as fixer of what’s broken. That’s understandably what most people feel inclined to do when they encounter chaos in the lives of others—to fix them. But what determines brokenness? Jesus saw people so differently than the world sees them, accepting and loving them where they were and tolerating their weaknesses even as He loved them into more than they could imagine or ask.—Cindy Trimm  Your Journey to Authentic Living

 He is alive and still has our best interest at heart. It’s okay for things to not go as we think they should. I have now reached the moment where I simply release my burdens to the Lord and let His will be done in each situation.

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I pack up my bags today and prepare to journey back to the other side of the world. To say “see you soon” to so many that I love and pray that in some way I have left some sort of impact on lives here even if it is just a portion of the impact that has been made on me. My heart has expanded as I have met so many new, precious lives this go around and I know that they will remain on my heart each day until I return again. I am thankful for the opportunity to serve here in Uganda and for all that made it possible for me to spend the last month here. I know the Lord will continue to be at work both in my life as I return home and here in the lives of the Sozo family in Uganda. I have been reminded of His hand that has Sozo in a firm grip. He has promised to walk beside us each step of the way and even reminds us over and over that the battle has already been won. We walk in victory each day. What a simple, but sweet reminder.

 

I am ever so confident that we are truly standing on Holy Ground here in Uganda. His presence is surely here. He has legions of angels surrounding each and every one of us.

 

“..take your sandals off your feet, for the place on which you are standing is holy ground.”

Exodus 3:5

 

 

 

This is the day that the Lord has made...

“The world needs dreamers and the world needs doers. But above all, the world needs dreamers who do.” –Sarah Ban Breathnach

Where to even begin. To catch up on life for the past few weeks would be nearly impossible. Joy. Strength. Happiness. They all have played a role in the daily life here in Uganda.

 

“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24

 

 

The everyday life here in Uganda is busy. It has its moments of chaos as the van is pulling out for school in the morning and Vivian is left in the bathroom mopping. Or when Norah loses Victor’s homework book before they even leave the school yard. Or when we should all really be in bed but due to the short amount of time to do chores and homework after school, I find myself laying upstairs on the floor in the boys bedroom finishing up that days homework. And then there are moments of pure delight. Moments that I can only wish I had some way that I could go back and capture them once they are over.

 

Like when Dennis and Julius run inside and yell “Auntie, come and take a picture of this,” only to walk outside and find them all gathered around the little white table that overlooks the area where you find children running around in the afternoons. As I get closer I find them ready to dig into an afternoon snack. Some of the food they have brought home from school, some are leftovers from lunch that day and then they’ve put some of their money together to buy a fanta that will be shared amongst the 10 or so ready to tear through their snack. They then go on to taking turns serving each other as they laugh and enjoy each others company.

 

 

I snap a photo and then sit back and enjoy this moment. I soak in the fact that they are learning to share. And then rejoice because at the end of the day, these are brothers and sisters doing what normal brothers and sisters do, loving and serving each other. This moment was actually captured in a picture. But then there was the moment when Norah closed out last night’s devotion with prayer. She quite possibly prayed one of the sweetest prayers these two ears had ever heard. She began with asking each of us to close our eyelashes and then proceeded to thank the Lord for all they have. For the opportunity to have their school fees paid. For the blessings each one of them has received. For the sponsors in each of their lives that help fund their daily lives. For the privilege to have moms and dads who love them in the house while there are many other children who don’t get to say that. And most importantly for what the Lord is doing in their lives. Thank you Lord for being so deeply rooted in these children at such a young age.

And then there is house three. I cannot go without mentioning what those young men and women have taught me in the time that I have been able to spend with them since arriving in Uganda. This in fact was the first time meeting most of them because when I visited in October most of them were all boarding in school on the other side of Kampala. I have never been more thankful to have them so close to us now. They are special. They are pushing through school and striving to be top in their classes. I have been so impressed with how well they are adjusting to their new schools since the move in December. They are meeting friends and getting involved. Some of the boys are playing in soccer leagues that were created within their secondary schools. It’s a pleasure to see Sunday and Hakim run up and down the soccer field with their team during a soccer match on Sunday afternoon.

 

Then there is Hakim, Kenneth and Samuel who have started an apprenticeship at a garage downtown. They travel to town six days a week and work from 8-5. They are not only learning about how to fix cars, how to drive and many other important skills needed to know in life, but they are gaining wisdom, knowledge and discipline that they will need to individually excel in life as they get older. They are taking it seriously and absolutely love it. I am so thankful that Sozo has given them an opportunity to do this. It’s an honor to sit and watch them shine in something they are passionate about. Something that is going to be used and will make a difference in many lives over the years to come.

 

I never could have dreamed that my heart could grow such a deep love for the older ones the way that is has so quickly. But that is where the Lord quickly shows up and says “these are my children too.” They make mistakes and you love them through them. They hold tight to the things you say. And they understand that they are privileged to be where they are today. Some easily forget the older ones as they are sometimes harder to take in when they have been exposed to so much more than we want to think about, but then I once again count my blessings as the Lord has allowed us to open a door to them and extend His grace and mercy to them daily.

“I pray that out of His glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep in the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:16-19

 

I am moving in to my last week here in Uganda with all intentions to soak up and enjoy every second of my time left here. The days have flown by. I have grown to love the permanent dirt that cover the bottoms of my feet, the sweat that pours like a river as soon as you walk out the door and even the roosters crowing at all hours of the day. I am reminded of His beauty from the time the sun rises in the morning until that final look up at the brightest stars I have ever seen as I head into the house each night. This place gets more beautiful as the days pass. Praising Him for the opportunity to be here.

 

“In everything, give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

 

 

 

Out of the Overflow of My Heart...

It is hard to believe it has already been one week since I arrived. It has been full days filled with contagious joy, sweet prayers and of course anything and everything that you would expect from a house full of siblings—CRAZINESS!!

The Lord has repeatedly shown up in the midst of it all to either teach me something about Him or to refine something within me. It’s a beautiful thing. I have thoroughly enjoyed being able to pause and reflect on all that the Lord is, all that He has done in my life and truly lavish in His love. He is so good. And these children, aunties and uncles are evidence of this in the flesh. They sing a song that talks about yearning for the Lord so much that it hurts. What does that look like? Do I yearn for the Lord so much that it hurts? It is a sweet thing; A beautiful picture of utter dependence.

I have begun the education evaluations this past week that we intend on doing on all of the children in the next few weeks. This is going to help us see where they currently are, and then allow us to evaluate their progress throughout the remainder of the year. It’s been exciting to watch the kids already improve from the last time that I was here. They are each getting smarter and smarter with every day that passes and it makes me hit my knees with thankfulness at the thought that there are so many families on the other side of the world who make sacrifices to sponsor these children every month. Be it through education, nutrition, health or housing, it takes every aspect to make a child whole. With every outfit I see these children run around in, with every doll I see the girls braid the hair on, and at every meal that we take throughout the day—I am yet again reminded that without the generosity of so many, life here would look very different. And then in the same breath, I am humbled at the moms, dads, aunties and uncles over here. They love each one of these children well. They do whatever it takes to make sure they are fed, well rested and growing like weeds! Family is valued here and I am blessed to play a part in this big family.

I pinch myself every morning I roll out of the bed from under that mosquito net at the thought that today I am getting to do life in Uganda at this time in my life. I am treasuring each day. With every piece of clothing that is laid out to dry, with every shirt that is folded, with every dish that is washed, I pray that I am serving well and loving well. I pray that in the stillness, I am being filled, and in being filled, I pray that loving and serving is done out of the overflow of my heart.

And so it begins..

Life in Uganda for a month. It is going to be a blessing. I can already tell. It's busy as it always is here with the normal everyday buzz of that alarm that comes quickly at 4:30 am. Wake up, chores, breakfast and then morning prayer and its off to school we go. I quickly learned my first day here that things are different from the last time I was here. It is quiet in the house throughout the day as all of our kids are now officially enrolled in school. I have fallen in love with the intentional moments that I have been blessed to share in between the Aunties and Uncles. We are rolling into day 3 and I can assure you that I can now chop and grate bellpeppers, onions and tomatoes like it is my job. But in saying that, I messed up the first few times. It is done precisely but instead of momma and Christine getting impatient and doing it themselves, they allow it to be a teaching moment. Life is about teachable moments. Christine told me yesterday that if babies gave up on trying to walk after there first attempt that led them to end up on the ground from a wobbly fall, we would never have mastered walking. It takes mistakes to learn. And that can be applied to much more in life that just the size I chop my bellpeppers! We pick up four of the kids at 12:45 and the rest do not come home until close to 7. But let me tell you, the short time spent with Vanessa, Frances, Florence and Zoob(the name has stuck around the house once I couldn't say his full name correctly) before lunch and nap is not taken for granted. Once 7 o'clock hits, the madness strikes up as they bathe, have devotion and eat all before that quickly approaching 9:30 bedtime. The days pass quickly. It feels like Monday and it is already Thursday!!
Pray for our kids as they have started back to school this week for the first time since holiday break. They are getting adjusted to a new schedule and longer, busier days. Pray the Lord sustains them throughout each day.

 

ZOOOOB!

 

Little Miss Priss, Van!

Post-nap play

 

 

One Year (plus a few days) Later...

As I sit and write this blog, this journey with Sozo officially began 380 days ago, which makes my first official day at Sozo January 12, 2012.
It's so funny to see how the Lord is continuously at work in our lives. How He prepares the way weeks, months and sometimes even years in advance. I was looking back on college assignments while cleaning out my room the other day and came upon a paper that I wrote about my life right before my senior year in college. Keep in mind, this was before I ever even knew Sozo existed, much less had any idea I would seek out an internship with them. I rest assured that the Lord was preparing my life--my heart, for what was to come in just a few short months.

(Written April 2011)
"It is so incredible to see this journey unfold before my eyes and to begin to see His purpose and hand over each area of my life. As I approach graduation one year from now, next May, I rest completely sure that my childhood years, high school years and now college years were so preciously and perfectly designed to launch me into what the Lord has so sweetly prepared for me. I do not have any specific idea of what I will do as far as a career goes, but I do know that He will see me through each day in placing me somewhere that brings Him glory. I was made to advocate for those without a voice, those who fight every day to stay alive and those holding on to a hope that one day something better will come. Whether that is in the States or in a foreign land, I press forward with full confidence and hope, that the Lord will be my provider, my comforter, my protector and my shelter. I have learned that my plans seem great for just a small time, but His plans will always be far greater and far more exciting than I could dream up or imagine. I hope to work alongside an organization who does orphanages or feeding programs in another country. This would be a short term goal of mine. One that I would love to see happen in the next year. A long term goal I would have would be to be in a position that would allow me to travel often to other countries and be a vessel to provide a better, more joyful life for those who are not blessed to have loving parents and a supportive environment backing them."

The Lord without a doubt gives us the desires of our hearts. He grants us our hopes and our dreams. He is beyond faithful.

Over these next few sentences and paragraphs, my hope is that I could scratch the surface as I unpack what this past year has held. I will forget things along the way, expand on things that touched a sweet spot in my spirit and give God all honor and glory as I unfold one year in one blog. It has been a season of growth, frustration, joy, pain, laughter, surprises, discipleship and love. A beautiful mixture of every feeling and emotion that I can assure you, as tough as it was, I simply would not change one thing.

And so it begins--January 2012...
What started as an internship for school to wrap up my college career turned into much, much more. I laugh now, but at the time, I remember wondering what I was thinking starting at a non-profit right smack in the dead heat of tax season. Was I crazy?! Eyes crossed from inputting numbers in excel files, licking envelopes and making multiple trips to the post office--tax returns were sent and I released a deep breath.



Church of the Highlands Tuscaloosa- Haiti 2012

                  

Haiti

In March of 2012, I had the opportunity to travel back to Haiti to work alongside an unbelievable group of servants from Church of the Highlands. This was my second time to visit Sister Bonite and her precious children that take part in her feeding program she runs. I thought this visit back over there would be a breeze since I had been there less than a year prior. However, it was so much different. Actually it was harder. At first I could not figure out why that was the case, but over the course of my time there, it clicked. I was forced to be still. To not fill my entire day with projects, ministry, and children. My human tendencies are to go, go, go. Don't slow down. Don't reflect. Don't process. Fill my days to be so jammed packed that time spent with the Lord pass me by. So while we were in Haiti this last time, our days did have a lot of down time attached to them. And that was uncomfortable for me. Reason for that you may ask--Discomfort came when I had no choice but to pause. To simply hear that sill small voice. To listen to where He was leading and what He was pressing upon my heart. I have mentioned it before, but for those of you just now starting to follow this journey of mine, this last trip to Haiti was when the Lord confirmed to stay at Sozo following graduation. I fought it. Fought it hard to be honest. It didn't make sense. But He simply put it, OBEY. Daily obedience is what He asked of me. The question was "Will you say Yes? Not just today, but everyday."

Mud Run- Spring 2012

The Mud Run was next on the list--which was a lot of work--or so I thought until fall rolled around and we were cracking down on getting two fundraisers put together that would be held just weeks apart. Here is my disclaimer. For those of you who are reading this who were apart of putting THREE fundraisers on in ONE weekend in the fall of 2011 for Sozo--You were crazy!! I realize that my stress level should not have been as high as it was, because for you, putting on another 5k was just a hop, skip and a jump.

Phiona and Shamira at the Birmingham Airport

Next on deck was getting ready for the Summer. Trips, interns and two new friends from Uganda. On May 25, 2012, we welcomed Shamira and Phiona at the Birmingham Airport as they would be here for a time seeking out medical treatment. The lessons I would learn from these two lives were not known to me at that time, but my life would forever be impacted from two girls who were eleven and twelve at the time they arrived.

Shamira and Phiona



Summer with Phiona

I had the opportunity to spend majority of the first couple of months with Phiona. Getting to know her. Learning from her. Watching her go from shy, quiet and fearful of mzungus(white people) to an energetic, fun yet reserving not one ounce of her being. Each day was a new day. New lessons for me to learn. New lessons I was able to teach. Mercy. Grace. I was beginning to learn what these look like in tangible ways. I realized Through her young life, I was starting to learn more specific characteristics of Christ. The ones that He continues to offer me. Daily. I was beginning to see, this life I refer to as a journey was about to forever alter the way I live. The way I saw things. The way I loved.

Annual Fundraiser Dinner

Adventure Race- Fall 2012

We made it through fall fundraisers but I can't say with confidence I would have personally had I not begged, pleaded and offered just about everything I owned to get my fellow Sozo staffers home from Uganda a week or so before originally planned. Thankful for their hearts that understand both sides of Sozo--Uganda and the States-- and appreciate the hard work that goes into each. Along with everyone making their way back to the States, they brought along yet another Ugandan friend, Daudi. Daud(as I call him) is our on-ground administrator for Sozo in Uganda. And he is phenomenal I might mention. He joined us in the States for two months until we both returned to Uganda in October. Some of my favorite moments with Daudi were when we would sit outside and he would tell me stories of the children in Uganda. Where they came from. What their lives looked like before Sozo. The good, the bad, the ugly. He wanted to me to see the work that The Lord had done in their lives. And I did. Those were special days.

Daudi at the North Carolina fundraiser

St. Petersburg Fundraiser

Sozo takes on Disney World

I was able to travel to both the North Carolina and St. Petersburg fundraisers and we even snuck in a quick trip to Disney World. Both dinners were wonderfully done and it was so incredible to see how much love there is for Sozo, and not just in Alabama. It is a blessing to see how people grasp a hold of the vision of Sozo and they love it the same way we do. Seeds are being planted across multiple states and fruit is beginning to be evident. Sherry and Jon, you are such a huge blessing to Sozo and we are beyond thankful for everything you both do in order to make Christ known. To Him be the glory.

Rays of Hope

Sozo Children House 1

I travelled to Uganda in October for the first time. To read more about this trip you can view this previous blog. (Uganda Trip) The days that I spent in Uganda were beautiful. Not just the physical appearance of the country, although it did not disappoint. The beauty came in the people I met. The joy of the children. The love of the staff. The open arms and acceptance from the people we passed on the streets each day. Uganda took my heart. But then again, I have yet to meet anyone in which this hasn't been the case. There is something special about this place. Something I can't figure out, but in the same breath, I just don't know if I want to figure it out. The mystery that lies in that truth makes it that much more special. It was something about the sunrises and sunsets. It was something about many voices joining together as one to bring fame to our Father. It was something about the fresh squeezed juice we occasionally drank. It was something about the smell of the garbage being burnt. It was something about the eagerness the children had to grab the first hand they saw or grab a hold of the first leg they could get their arms around. The sights, sounds, tastes, smells and feelings you experience are what stick. You don't get hung up on the brokenness that surrounds you because you take a look to the left of you during devotion and see Francis worshiping our magnificent Father with the sweetest air guitar moves you'll ever see.

(Francis has the blue shirt on. Watch carefully. You won't miss his sweet moves!)

 

And then you look to the right during a game of around-the-world and you lay eyes on Alex, but you are immediately drawn to a smile that represents such a joy in the Lord that it is simply indescribable.

Alex

And it is then, from one of our youngest children to the guy who we are privileged to call our van driver, that you begin see what beauty from ashes truly looks like. It's right there, unfolding before your eyes. Redemption. It's divine.

Shamira

After returning from Uganda in October, I began to weekly tutor Shamira. We worked together on her Math, Social Studies and English. I cannot begin to express how these days that we spent in the library touched my heart. Her hard-work, dedication and drive to truly learn impacted my life in ways that she has not a clue of. She is special. A true workmanship of the Lord. Her spirit is meek, but she is strong. I am beyond thankful and grateful for the opportunity to spend afternoons with this precious soul. Together, yet in different and unique ways, we are learning more with every day that passes that goes way beyond those four walls that make up that library.

Before I began tutoring Shamira, I began to weekly meet with Amiee(her mom) as she took on the role of mentoring me. This relationship that formed was the result of four very long years of asking (more like pleading with) the Lord to have someone step into my life and play this role. It was worth every prayer prayed in that time to have a sweet soul like hers in my life. I value the wisdom that can be poured into our lives if we are simply willing to receive it. I thank the Lord for her life each day and am honored that she takes the time to intentionally invest into my life. She is a strong example of pure love and grace. I am grateful.

Joan

Derrick

Along the way, I have had the great opportunity to get to know, grow to love and yet again learn from the whole gang. Joan has taught me to have joy. Derrick has taught me gentleness. Shamira has taught me strength. Laurel has taught me selflessness. Coleman has taught me what ambition looks like.

And here we are now--January 2013..

A few Sozo staffers-Snow Day 2013

The new year has begun. It has been a great one so far. The Lord has shown Himself faithful time and time again. We are expectant for what is to come throughout this year at Sozo. We cling tight to His promises which are true and we know that He is sure to carry out until the day of completion the good work that He has begun. It's a fun ride. Some days are hard. But it is on those days that we are reminded that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Praising the One from whom all blessings continuously flow.

Next stop...Uganda.
Please be in prayer as I prepare to travel back to Uganda on Sunday February 3rd to spend one month back in that special place that stole my heart just three months ago. I will be working alongside Andee and a few others to implement various educational programs into our homes that are currently running. We pray the Lord's blessing upon each day. May He grant to us patience, discernment and good graces as we follow what has been pressed upon each of our hearts.

"And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18

Reminders.

Sometimes I sit back and shake my head at how faultless the Lord is in His timing of simple reminders. Reminders to keep marching forward. Reminders to continue to seek wisdom and discernment. Reminders to keep believing that no matter what you feel, He truly does have what is best for both you and I in mind.
As I was sitting in a chair in the midst of a group of people I did not know this past Sunday, a rush of nerves followed by a supernatural peace came over me. I stood up, walked to the front of the room and looked into the eyes of a group of people who all have their own unique story to tell, yet have one thing in common with me--We all have the same Father. My hands shook, not out of fear but out of an overwhelming excitement to have this opportunity to share. I truly did not know what words would come out. You see, when I get the opportunity to share my story, what this past year has looked like for me but most importantly get to tell the story of our precious children in Uganda to one more person, my soul leaps. One more person who hears where Sozo began, what this two and a half year journey has looked like and our hopes and dreams for what is to come in the near future, is one more person who gets to see God's grace, mercy and ultimately His beautiful picture of redemption for 68 plus precious lives in Uganda.



"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are glad." Psalm 126:3

As important as it is to share all that the Lord is doing within Sozo, and He always seems to be at work in both the small things and the not so small things, I can honestly say that I think the opportunity to go to speak in this class was more for me than anyone else. Why you ask? After briefly speaking, the typical Sunday morning routine carried on for them.

Topic of study: Jonah.

Jonah in a nut shell is a picture of how fear and pride can result in running from God's direction and calling on our lives. But a "belly of a whale" experience of repentance could lead you directly into the arms of a merciful God resulting in a time of growth with the Lord.

The lesson opened up with the following words:

"I am Jonah.
I want to serve God...
as long as it is convenient.
I desire to do His will...
Until it is a tad uncomfortable.
I want to hear His Word...
as long as its message is one I'm supposed to pass on to someone else.
I don't want to have my plans interrupted.
Oh yes. I am Jonah, and I suspect that in
one way or another, you are too."
(From: Master Work with credit to Priscilla Shirer)

....Think about it...

Oh how uncomfortably familiar those words felt as they echoed through my ears that morning. That is ME. I am Jonah way more often than I am proud to say. And in particular here recently.

"And he said: I called out to the Lord because of my trouble, and He answered me. I cried for help from the place of the dead, and You heard my voice." Jonah 2:2

As the end of the year closes and the new year brings a fresh start, it would be easy to cap my beautiful journey in this mission field off and move into finding a job with office hours, a stable income and benefits. But the Lord is keeping me right here, in the uncomfortable, for a very specific and particular reason. Is what I am doing a dream opportunity? You better believe it. But is it easy? Absolutely not. It's not easy because I do not have control from day to day. It is in my human nature to control every aspect of my life. When things get hard, ideally, I would love to shift to an easier path. Yet everyday when I wake up, I am in a position that forces me to say "Lord, strengthen my faith in You. For I know that You are in ALL things and I trust that You have and will always guide me in any and all situations, both great and small."
Making sense of what God has asked cannot be the prerequisite for choosing obedience.

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8

I present myself vulnerable today and admit more times than not, I have wanted to gracefully bow out. Problems arise within, and His grace trumps over them. I am learning to love, and truly love on days when that is not the first thing on my mind. I am grateful for the wisdom that has been poured into me. That I now am able view the rocky days, the tough times, and the not-so-pleasant people as sandpaper in my life. When you look the word "sandpaper" up in the dictionary, you find this: "Strong paper coated with a layer of sand or other abrasive, used for smoothing or polishing". This idea of sandpaper is ultimately to view these moments as the Lord refining me and teaching me about an area in my own life...or as the Lord smoothing and polishing me. He is a good God. He allows the rough days in order for me to be smoother on the other side. This is humbling.

"The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on to the heights" Habakkuk 3:19

I cling tight to the Lord. Trusting that this season is equipping me for the greatest of days which are ahead of me. I am thankful that as I make mistakes, I am also able to learn from them. And as I grow through life lessons that sometimes feel like a broken record, I am better for them. As I learn, I grow, and the next time I face a problem, I will never look at it the same because I have learned something essential from the last time I looked it in the face. This is what life is about. Learning to be still some moments and learning to take chances other times. But never ceasing to reflect on what the Lord is teaching and discerning what He wants from me each day.

It truly is about learning to daily be obedient to ALL the Lord is asking from me.
And I admit, I am still in the process of truly grasping what this truth is all about.

"And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Corinthians 3:18