"...I fear no evil, for You are with me."

My normal daily routine has been shifted around in this past week. It involves a lot more rice and beans. It has morning cartoons playing in the background. It involves the newest food of liking "ambuggas"(hamburgers). And my favorite part, Jesus Calling for Kids before we go to bed each night. You see, my newest routine has entered my life because we have a precious Ugandan staying with us while Auntie Suzanne is visiting Sozo in Uganda. Phiona came into the picture many, many months ago as we began praying for both her and Shamira to be granted medical visas so that they could come to the States to began medical treatment here locally. But it wasn't until 4 weeks ago that I first met Phiona as she walked through the gates at the airport here in Birmingham. I was extremely excited to get to know her, spend time with her and be able to witness first hand a medical miracle take place right in front of my eyes. Except I never knew how quickly I could fall in love with this little girl, and just how much my faith would have to increase during this medical treatment process. I am more than willing to offer the little faith I have over to God so that He can increase it ten fold. I desire to have so much faith that anything we face in the coming months will not shake me or throw me off course. That I can immediately turn anything over to God and with full confidence say "Lord, I trust you and I know that you will see us all through this." As we are getting closer to the first big appointment for miss priss over here, the Lord has been reminding me of this promise, "He who began a good work will carry it out until the day of completion."
One thing that has pretty consistently come up since Phiona has arrived here in America has been fear. Fear of both small, everyday things and fear of things that any 11 year old would fear. We have been working through these things, praying that fear would not control her and reading about what the Word says about fear. It is no coinsidence that it has come up multiple times while reading Jesus Calling. Phiona reads it outloud to me and she pauses to sound out the words she does not yet know how to say. She will look over at me at the end of a sentence if she doesn't really understand what she just read and I will then try to explain it in a way that she understands. The sound of her voice reading could put anyone at ease. In the midst of the fear she struggles with, there is a peace that echoes off her voice. Here is an excerrpt of what she so sweetly read to me last night:
"I go before you as well as with you into this day. Nothing surprises Me. I know exactly what will happen--both the good and the bad. Trust in Me and do not be afraid. Stay close to Me, and I will not let you be overwhelmed by anything that happens today. Don't go through today with fear in your heart because of what might or might not happen. I will help you deal with whatever happens--moment by moment. Facing your problems with Me brings blessings that are much bigger than your troubles."
I can not begin to tell you how much my world is changing by just having her in my life. As we were swimming in the lake today with her life jacket on and floating on her noodle(or "horse" as she calls it), I realized just how much she depended on me not to let her go. Although she has everything on that will keep her floating without holding on to me, She kept a tight grip on either my hands, neck or arm at all times for the first half of the day. There is no telling how many times I told her I would not let anything harm her, that she would not drown or that I would not let go. But instead of relaxing and trusting completely in my words, she had to put forth every effort to make sure she had a tight grip. It was in the middle of the lake that the Lord downloaded such a sweet revelation. You see, the same goes for us in our relationship with Him. He promises to not let anything harm us and He tells us He will not leave us or forsake us. But instead of trusting Him completely in that, we fight and fight to just keep our head afloat which in turn leaves us tired and weary. Do I trust Him enough to completely believe He is true to His promises? Sweet Jesus, show me areas in my life that I have not turned over to You.
Thanks to Auntie Amiee's brilliant idea :) tonight we spent time making a calender for her to write important dates on. She wanted to write when all of her aunties and uncles were coming back to America(she loves and misses every single one of you). She absolutely loved this and hopefully this will help her have an idea of what to look forward to. I am so thankful for times like these. She is letting her guard down more and more. Seeing that I want what is best for her even if she doesn't get what she wants when she wants it.
I pray that I take advantage of the time I am getting to spend with this sweet girl. That I do not take for granted the times that she challenges me and the times that we both bust into laughter. It is in the times that she won't look me in the eyes because she is upset that I have told her no and the times that she looks at me like she is clinging to every word that I am saying that the Lord is constantly teaching me that He has prepared me and continuing to equip me for such a time as this.
What a fun ride He has me on... Thank you Father for this opportunity. For this life. For these many blessings.

Defining a dream. Claiming a promise.

And so it’s on to the next chapter in life, as some would say. Except in my case, it is nothing short of typical. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have wrestled with the Lord as I was getting ready to flip the page and begin a new chapter. Funny thing is: He won. I shouldn't be surprised. I already know the end. The story of my life has already been written. What a sweet reminder, our sweet Jesus has so carefully pieced together a beautiful story for each of us. It may be messy. It isn't always easy. It may take longer than expected. And then again, it may be everything we dreamed of and so much more.

My hope is that through this blog, you will be able to catch a glimpse of what the Lord has done, and is still doing in my life. This next step is teaching me more than I could have ever dreamed and stretching me to trust solely is Him alone, but I am loving this season of life.

Do you want to know what the first sentence of this next chapter in my life is?? Are you ready for it?? Here it goes.... "Some may call me crazy, some say it doesn't make sense, and some tell me I'm wasting my time. But my response to this is: Being a missionary is kind of crazy and doesn't always make sense, but one thing is for sure--not one second of my time is being wasted." 

Most of you know, my last semester of college was spent doing my internship for school at a non-profit organization based out of Birmingham, AL called Sozo Children. "Sozo” is a Greek word found numerous times in the New Testament meaning “to save; to nurture; to rescue; both physically and spiritually.” We currently have 3 running orphanages in Kampala, Uganda, partner with a school called Rays of Hope and have on ground contact with missionaries in Costa Rica and Haiti. 

The past five months, I have been in a "peeling season". A season that the Lord has peeled me away from everything I've always known, everything I have come to know as comfort, and every direction I was "supposed" to be heading after graduation from college. Was it comfortable? No. Did I ever question if my next step was the "right one"? Absolutely. But in the midst of it all, I was daily reminded and reassured with a peace that truly does surpass all understanding. I was reminded that Christ is the positive and completely consistent living Word from God while reading 2 Corinthians 1:20 that says "For all of the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us." Christ is the fulfiller and fulfillment of all the promises of God because He is our sum and substance.  

There were moments throughout the semester that I knew without a doubt that Lord was shifting things around in my life. Like when I would sit and look at an excel sheet until my eyes were crossed but still had joy. Or when I was looking for company sponsorship for a fundraiser and was told "no" 84% of the time but still pressed on until I heard a "yes" the remaining 16% of the time. Or when I licked about 500 envelopes to mail out to sponsors and donors that left me with a nasty taste in my mouth and my fair share of paper cuts on my tongue, but did it with an excitement that made me begin to wonder what I had gotten myself into. I can remember laying in bed at night about halfway through the semester and thoughts like these would run through my mind... "What if this is what I was made to do?!" "What if i'm not supposed to settle for a normal job?" "What if my parents think I have gone off the deep end when I tell them I think I have found what I am supposed to do after college?!"... The scary thing is I could shake my head all I wanted to in hopes that these thoughts would pass and that I was just excited in the moment....BUT this is what the Lord designed me and created me for, I'm not supposed to settle for the norm and my parents didn't think I had gone haywire. All of this because the Lord has gone before me and has prepared the hearts of many for what is to come. And I am confident that the Lord is continuously going before me, I need to only step forward in full obedience. 

I am 100% okay with every bit of this life. I have no doubt that the Lord is my provider and I stand with complete faith knowing that provision will overflow abundantly. I love what I do and I consider myself blessed that at the age of 21 I can confidently say I am doing exactly what the Lord has designed me to do. I always thought people were crazy when they used the phrase "when you know, you just know" but I stand here today and say that is not crazy. It is true. I am abundantly thankful. I get up each day knowing that whatever I do that day will bring Him honor and glory and I leave each day with a full heart. 

As for when I will get these two feet to Africa to meet these beautiful babies that I feel like I already know....that will not come until October. I would love nothing more than to hop on a plane tomorrow and kiss those ebony colored faces and hug my Sozo family that I miss so dearly, but for now, my place is here. His timing is perfect and I rest in that. I long to have feet covered in red dirt, sleep under a mosquito net and soak in the beauty of Uganda. But tomorrow when I wake up I will rejoice in the here and now and work at what the Lord has placed before me at this moment in time with all of my heart. 

--A very fun family if I say so myself.--

How could I forget to mention that as these sweet people who I have been allowed the opportunity to work with over the past semester left to go to Africa just a few short weeks ago, the Lord so preciously brought Africa to me. Phiona and Shamira are two beautifully created little girls that are here   to receive medical treatment in the States. Most of my time has been spent with Phiona and I am positive that you will be hearing more about this sweet angel. I cherish the moments that I am getting to spend with her and even trying to pick up a few Lugandan words along the way. The Lord is so good. 

--At the barn with Phiona--

--Phiona riding Titan the horse.--

--Phiona has turned into quite a little fish. She loves to swim!--

I leave you with this from a book I have been reading called "The Circle Maker" that talks about praying circles around your biggest dreams and your greatest fears: "Drawing prayer circles often looks like an exercise in foolishness. But that's faith. Faith is the willingness to look foolish. Noah looked foolish building a boat in the middle of a desert. The Israelite army looked foolish marching around Jericho blowing trumpets. A shepherd boy named David looked foolish charging a giant with a slingshot. The Magi looked foolish tracking a star to Timbuktu. Peter looked foolish getting out of a boat in the middle of the Sea of Galilee. And Jesus looked foolish wearing a crown of thorns. But the results speak for themselves. Noah was saved from a flood; the walls came tumbling down; David defeated Goliath; the Magi discovered the Messiah; Peter walked on water; and Jesus was crowned King of Kings."

Be encouraged today, your next step may look foolish to the world, but is it really just one big leap of faith?! He's got you... GO FOR IT!